Hit count: Kicking it live like it ain't no thang

Black Eyed Peas, "I Gotta Feeling": Where "Boom Boom Pow" was genius-dumb, this is just stupid-stupid. Hey Will, you wouldn't wreck one of your own productions with vocals and lyrics so repetitive that they get boring before the first verse, would you?

Keri Hilson ft. Kanye West & Ne-Yo, "Knock You Down": Enjoyable starpowered trifle most notable for providing most fodder for the "can Kanye actually rap?" debate. He may rhyme "OMG" with "woe is me", but he also rhymes "Michael Jackson" with "Joe Jackson". At some point in history that will be acceptable, but not this one.

Kids of 88, "My House": Yeah, '88 was pretty different in New Zealand. These guys don't quite have the groove, but they should manage a few hits on shamelessness alone.

Not knowing what else to do, man writes Michael Jackson blog post

Because too many young people of my acquaintance have a limited knowledge of his work, here's a shortlist of the good stuff.

The Jackson 5, Greatest Hits (1971): MJ had the finest preteen voice in the history of recorded music. A fine voice doesn't necessarily make a fine singer, but MJ, since at age eleven he couldn't be reasonably expected to interpret, got by on a mix on commitment and fakery. This alone was sufficient well into his twenties to make him a fine singer, though he never ever topped his performance in "I Want You Back".

"Got to Be There", "Rockin' Robin", "I Wanna Be Where You Are" (1971-1972): The first solo singles, often overlooked, follow the same winning Motown formula as the J5 hits. And then comes "Ben", and you want to break out the rat poison.

Off the Wall (1979): Like most, MJ spent his teenage years trying to find himself, and while this utterly failed in terms of his personal life, musically he struck gold. He wanted to be a superstar, sure, but he also refused to shortchange his listeners on pleasure, and with Quincy Jones he found the ideal svengali for achieving this end. As M. Matos says, "all-the-songs-are-hits meant that all the songs should be great -- and if they aren't, they should sparkle just as brightly as the ones that are."

The Jacksons, "This Place Hotel" (1980): Practically a solo joint, this is intriguing as it's where his paranoia really starts to be expressed. Also, unfortunately, his misogyny.

Thriller (1982): This is what put him up with super-duper stars Bing, Elvis and the Beatles -- the first black face in the constellation, and perhaps only his sometime co-star, the basketball-playing Michael, has joined him there since. Jody Rosen is surely not the first to point out that half the time the record is borderline disturbing. That's the same half the time that the record is great.

"Leave Me Alone" (1987): Thriller is weird, but the Bad album is weird in a bad way: his stunted inner life and self-loathing are rarely fascinating, just sad, and some have argued racially problematic. Still, there are moments of sublime groove, of which "Leave Me Alone" is the most honest. And yet he couldn't stand to be left alone.

Dangerous (1991): This marks MJ's brief recorded interest in hip hop and sex; not coincidentally, it's his last first-rate album. Everyone remembers the car-smashing video to "Black or White", but "In the Closet" has Naomi Campbell in it.

"2000 Watts" (2001): Jackson's last couple of albums had their moments, but no one cared because of, well, all that stuff that happened. Scholars will no doubt re-evaluate the material in years to come, but for now, know that the Invincible album has the hardest beats of his career, and "2000 Watts" features MJ singing like a grown-up.

Favourite hip hop and R&B albums of the decade

For genre clarity, I'm restricting this to American and Canadian records.

1. Eminem, The Marshall Mathers LP: His usual problem -- his disses are pro forma when he's merely contemptuous -- and his usual solution -- unrivaled vitriol towards those targets he truly hates. Poor ICP. Oh wait, fuck ICP. (What's possibly his new usual problem -- dull beats -- hadn't set in yet; Dre is on fire here.) The first album has fewer deadweight guest spots, but this is his best album more or less because of "Stan", and "Stan" isn't even the best song on the record. The decade's best work of art about the role of the artist, though it helps that he has, or at least had, a more interesting role than, say, any contemporary novelist.
2. Kanye West, Late Registration
3. Ghostface Killah, Fishscale
4. Nas, Untitled
5. Buck 65, Talkin' Honky Blues
6. Kanye West, 808s & Heartbreak
7. OutKast, Stankonia
8. DJ Shadow, The Private Press
9. Lil Wayne, Tha Carter III
10. The Coup, Party Music
11. K'naan, The Dusty Foot Philosopher
12. OutKast, Speakerboxxx/The Love Below
13. Kanye West, The College Dropout
14. N*E*R*D, In Search of...
15. Lil Wayne, Da Drought 3
16. Steinski, What Does It All Mean?
17. Mos Def, The New Danger
18. OutKast, Idlewild
19. Ne-Yo, Year of the Gentleman
20. Public Enemy, Rebirth of a Nation
21. Kelis, Tasty
22. Wu-Tang Clan, The W
23. Atmosphere, Lucy Ford
24. Blackalicious, NIA
25. Lupe Fiasco, Food and Liquor
26. Northern State, Dying in Stereo
27. Ghost Dog: The Way of the Samurai
28. Lyrics Born, Later That Day
29. The Perceptionists, Black Dialogue
30. The Coup, Pick a Bigger Weapon
31. The Roots, Rising Down
32. Erykah Badu, Mama's Gun
33. Missy Elliott, This Is Not a Test!
34. Nas, Street's Disciple
35. Raphael Saadiq, The Way I See It
36. Kanye West, Graduation

Percolating:
Tanya Morgan, The Bridge
Why?, Alopecia (if it counts)
Black Milk, Tronic
UGK 4 Life

Brad still watches DVDs sometimes

Slumdog Millionaire: A likeable movie in which the montages are the tastiest parts. Gloopy love story? Sure, but chicken tikka masala was based on butter chicken, or so some believe. The "real India"? It shows up from time to time. "Paper Planes" plays and then they're seven years older? That's the real Bollywood. B

Twilight: Wuthering Heights, yes, but the Kate Bush version. A very teen girl pic, so reviewers used to hyping "four quadrant" flicks (that is, teen boy pics that waste Gwyneth Paltrow) had nothing to say save not-so-biting wordplays. More substantial is the criticism of the movie as anti-sex, touched upon by Dargis. To be clear: waiting a bit isn't the worst thing in the world for many teens, but if you're one of the many parents who let your spawn learn the facts of life from popcult, there's better multimedia than this. The rest of us can choose between breaking out the auteur theory and playing therapist to Stephenie Meyer, or marvelling how well Catherine Hardwicke gets her cast to play together. Best performer: actual teen Kristen Stewart. B PLUS

Let the Right One In: Before this, there were two good vampire art films ever -- both by Northern Europeans, none since 1932. After this: no change. Here, Bergman comes back from the dead, and no one has the decency to send him back. J/K: Bergman knew how to depict outsiders; their portrayal here rings so false that you suspect the filmmakers were never bullied at all. (NB: Watched this with dubbing on. The subtitles were insufficient; a version with decent subtitles is being released and will probably be more enjoyable than what I watched. Not that I'm giving it another chance.) C PLUS

Movies I need to re-watch before making my inevitable favourite X movies of the decade list

The leaderboard:
Army of Shadows
Before Sunset
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Far from Heaven
Funny Ha Ha
Ghost World
Hamlet
Happy-Go-Lucky
King Kong
Kings and Queen
La Commune
Mulholland Drive
Spellbound
Springtime in a Small Town
The Best of Youth
The New Country
The Return of the King
The Wayward Cloud
Time Out
Yi Yi

Could easily move up on a second viewing:
A History of Violence
Beau travail (really 1999 I suppose)
Elephant
Femme Fatale
Flight of the Red Balloon
Friday Night
Goodbye, Dragon Inn
I'm Not There
Inland Empire
Land of the Dead
Lost in Translation
Persepolis
Spider
The Beat That My Heart Skipped
Three Times
To Be and To Have

For the acting:
Before Night Falls
Iris
Michael Clayton
Sexy Beast
The Last Mistress
The Pianist

Can't be as bad as I first thought it was:
Million Dollar Baby

Haven't yet seen:
A Christmas Tale
Cadillac Records
Che (part 2)

and there are surely other contenders I'm neglecting.

Have already made up my mind about:
In Praise of Love (anti-Yank sentiment less annoying on second viewing, if I make a top 100 it'll be in the bottom half)
In the Mood for Love (have seen it three times, probably top ten but not number one)

Top ten: Teenage kicks

1. Taylor Swift, "Fifteen": Such a perfect description of what freshman year at high school is like (or at least can be like) that only someone young enough that their memories aren't yet tainted by nostalgia or cynicism could've written it.
   
2. Beyonce, "Single Ladies (Put a Ring Around It)": Dangerously in love.
   
3. Hercules and Love Affair, "Blind (Frankie Knuckles remix)": The proper use of Antony.
   
4. Franco, "Marie naboyi": Each disjoint section would be a career highlight for lesser lights.
   
5. Verckys, "Marcello Tozongana": Saxman Verckys here sounds like he belongs in the Congolese pantheon.
   
6. Franco, "Lisolo ya Adamo na Nzambe": God and Adam argue, guitar plays peacemaker.
   
7. Taylor Swift, "The Best Day": Gooey, but damn, does she understand structure.
   
8. Katy Perry, "Hot N Cold": I don't usually have a problem with opportunism: I liked the Fergie album guiltlessly. Still, the likelihood Perry will be around for ten years makes me queasy about liking this.
   
9. The Bronx, "Young Bloods": If the song doesn't give you a seizure, the video will.
   
10. Grand Kalle & l'African Jazz, "Parafifi": This was on Rumba on the River, but I didn't get into it until I heard it on The Rough Guide to Congo Gold. Either way, great groove.
    

Ten more:
Bon Iver, "Skinny Love"
Cee-Lo, "Closet Freak" (yes, I'm behind)
Franco, "Ku Kisanto kikwenda ko", "Bato ya mabe batondi mboka" and "Mabele"
Lady GaGa, "Poker Face"
MGMT, "Kids"
Mostly Other People Do the Killing, "Allentown" and "Drainlick"
Taylor Swift, "Forever and Always"

Top ten albums:

1. Franco, Francophonic
2. Taylor Swift, Fearless
3. The Rough Guide to Congo Gold
4. Mostly Other People Do the Killing, This is Our Moosic
5. Hercules and Love Affair
6. Cee-Lo Green and His Perfect Imperfections
7. MGMT, Oracular Spectacular
8. Say Anything, In Defense of the Genre
9. The Beatles, Love
10. Bon Iver, For Emma, Forever Ago

Dud of the moment: Fleet Foxes

I expect three of these are worth reading: the most acclaimed books of 2008

Based on 11 year-end lists I Googled, ranked according to a formula you don't care about:

1. Jhumpa Lahiri, Unaccustomed Earth
2. Dexter Filkins, The Forever War
3. Joseph O'Neill, Netherland
4. Roberto Bolano, 2666
5. Toni Morrison, A Mercy
6. David Wroblewski, The Story of Edgar Sawtelle
7. Richard Price, Lush Life
8. Philip Hensher, The Northern Clemency
9. Mary Ann Shaffer, The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Society
10. Jane Mayer, The Dark Side

Also mentioned multiple times: Kate Atkinson, When Will There Be Good News; Drew Gilpin Faust, This Republic of Suffering; Tana French, The Likeness; Mark Harris, Pictures at a Revolution; Ron Rash, Serena; Matt Weiland and Sean Wilsey (eds), State by State; Joan Wickersham, The Suicide Index.