Hit count: Perfect pitch like Randy Johnson

Part of my continuing battle against early onset cultural irrelevance.

Fergie, "Clumsy": Fifth single, crikey: while this isn't one of the three good ones ("London Bridge", "Fergalicious", and hell, even a ballad -- "Big Girls Don't Cry"), they're all acceptable. In terms of quality-to-talent ratio, she's as high as anyone in recent years. To me, that's something to admire.

Flo Rida ft. T-Pain, "Low": There's no truth to the rumour that daft punk T-Pain is really a robot; I just wish he'd dance like one. But as his takeover of the music industry is all but complete, 2007 may seem to future generations a turning point in the cyborgification of Earth -- at least it will if next-gen femmebots have the gigantic booty as a standard feature. What's digital love got to do with it?

KAT-TUN, "Keep the faith": In the West, the boy band biz is cyclical; in Japan, they never go away -- hell, SMAP are still hitting number one after fifteen years. KAT-TUN might be the biggest at the moment, and "Keep the faith" shows that might be not entirely unjustified. Big drums and a smoked watery riff stay out of the way of the two-parts-and-change harmonies, while getting just enough in the way of the constipated rap bridge.

Rihanna, "Don't Stop the Music"; "Hate That I Love You" (ft. Ne-Yo): The other good song on the album besides "Umbrella" and "Shut Up and Drive" is "Breaking Dishes". Still, as far as time-killing singles to stretch out an album's run go, these are good generics. Of course, "dance floor filler" is a better genre than "not terribly clever romantic duet". They hate! how they love! each other. How terrible for them.