Misunderestimates: Family feuds
After the commercial success of Vin Diesel's The Pacifier, filmmakers are now working out ways to disguise their ultraviolent fantasies as family comedies:
THE LION, THE WITCH AND THE WARDROBE, dir. Andrew Adamson
Producers have spoken of this being "The Passion of the Christ for kids." See the heroic lion Aslan get beaten, scourged and crucified by the White Witch! But you can't keep a good lion down - Aslan comes back like Michael, and when a lion wants blood, he gets blood...
MISS CONGENIALITY 2: ARMED AND FABULOUS, dir. John Pasquin
William Shatner is kidnapped, and Sandra Bullock receives his ear in the mail. From then on it's bullet-ridden action all the way in this loose remake of the 1985 classic Commando, starring Sandra Bullock in the Arnie role, Regina King in the Rae Dawn Chong role, and Skippy the Kangaroo as the weird Aussie guy.
THE ULTIMATE JASON VOORHEES MOVIE, dir. Quentin Tarantino
Jason decides to go straight, so he decides his knife can be put to better use... as a surgeon in a hospital for teenagers! But when the teens get possessed by, um, some evil thing, Jason has to start killing them to save himself! Smell the Tarantinoesque irony! Watch the limbs go flying! With John Travolta as Jason, and the dog from Frasier as Jason's Dog From Frasier.
NATURAL BORN KILLERS: THE HIGH SCHOOL YEARS, dir. Oliver Stone
Stone sets up cameras in an inner city high school and waits for the inevitable. Hey, Gus Van Sant saved his career by doing less...
THE LION, THE WITCH AND THE WARDROBE, dir. Andrew Adamson
Producers have spoken of this being "The Passion of the Christ for kids." See the heroic lion Aslan get beaten, scourged and crucified by the White Witch! But you can't keep a good lion down - Aslan comes back like Michael, and when a lion wants blood, he gets blood...
MISS CONGENIALITY 2: ARMED AND FABULOUS, dir. John Pasquin
William Shatner is kidnapped, and Sandra Bullock receives his ear in the mail. From then on it's bullet-ridden action all the way in this loose remake of the 1985 classic Commando, starring Sandra Bullock in the Arnie role, Regina King in the Rae Dawn Chong role, and Skippy the Kangaroo as the weird Aussie guy.
THE ULTIMATE JASON VOORHEES MOVIE, dir. Quentin Tarantino
Jason decides to go straight, so he decides his knife can be put to better use... as a surgeon in a hospital for teenagers! But when the teens get possessed by, um, some evil thing, Jason has to start killing them to save himself! Smell the Tarantinoesque irony! Watch the limbs go flying! With John Travolta as Jason, and the dog from Frasier as Jason's Dog From Frasier.
NATURAL BORN KILLERS: THE HIGH SCHOOL YEARS, dir. Oliver Stone
Stone sets up cameras in an inner city high school and waits for the inevitable. Hey, Gus Van Sant saved his career by doing less...
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