East Bay View (a blog about several things)

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Friday, June 02, 2006

X-Men: The Last Stand: Yes, they're gay, let's move on [movie note]

(Minor spoilers.)

So I guess they didn't want to call it X3 'cuz then people might have mixed it up with XXX. (Don't think anyone would've mistaken it for Three Times.) It's hard to compress 43 years of comics into three movies, even if they only ever had three different overarching storylines:
  1. An X-Man dies. Everyone is unhappy. The X-Man miraculously comes back to life*. Everyone is still unhappy; after all, this is a Marvel comic.
  2. A supervillain appears to have become good, and the X-Men join forces with him. But it turns out the supervillain is still evil. Psyche!
  3. Some alternate future bullshit you shouldn't bother trying to comprehend.
*Unless the X-Man is a Native American, in which case he stays dead.

So you probably know which overarching storyline they chose for this movie; but they also threw in tons of bits and pieces of little storylines, and it still works out OK, which can be explained by the

Reasons why X-Men: The Last Stand is actually quite good though not as good as the last two!
  • It was filmed in Vancouver, which you can tell from all the trees and lakes and shit!
  • Cyclops is hardly in it!
  • The Angel-as-a-boy bit is a neat piece of foreshadowing, and Angel-as-a-young-man looks really neat, even if his Big Moment is way telegraphed!
  • Halle Berry, who is quite quite hot, is very much in it, even though she's required to do too much of the "acting"!
  • The cure-for-mutancy schtick they stole from Joss Whedon is an intriguing idea, even though they don't do anything with it!
  • Rebecca Nolongermarried-Tounclejesse, who is quite hot although not quite as hot as Halle Berry but on the other hand is better at the "acting", is in it, and hopefully will now graduate to Charlize Theron-type stardom, although hopefully without the habitual uglification 'cuz that's just rubbing it in isn't it, but oh wait she's stuck in WB purgatory, never mind!
  • There's very nearly some sex!
  • Ian McKellan, who is quite good at the "acting" though you wish he'd take a more demanding role every now and then, is in it!
  • Wow, they killed off ______! And ______! But not ______!
  • Vinnie fucking Jones!
  • The finale has some real feeling to it, though you have to think Bryan Singer would've given it more!
B MINUS

1 Comments:

  • At 11:51 AM, Blogger Dickolas Wang said…

    Screw you, all I said was there were trees and water and mountains and so it could very well be Vancouver.

    Ass.

     

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