Summer movies: Iron Man

Bill Clinton Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr*) begins the movie as your typical neoliberal billionaire playboy-weapons dealer. It's only when, in Afghanistan, he gets blown up by one of his own bombs that he realises the awesome power of Irony. Executing his Second Amendment rights to build a fireball-shooting flight suit, he becomes Irony Man. He fights the evil foreigner the Mandarin Raza (Berkeley grad Faran Tahir) and his crew of henchmen gathered from Hungary, Mongolia and other countries without Second Amendments by using the power of pure Irony. When they shoot at him, their bullets bounce off and hit themselves! One of them tries to catapult a rock at him, but it falls on himself! But the real enemy is bald neoconservative Dick Cheney Obadiah Stane (Jeff Bridges), who builds an even more Ironic suit. They fight, and ironically, because Stane is much more powerful, he loses. He deserves to, because he blows shit up for money. Irony Man only blows shit up for public approval. B PLUS

*Ghostface Killah was busy filming Speed Racer.