Hit count: Porn your heart out

Madonna ft. Justin Timberlake & Timbaland, "4 Minutes": Madonna has been exec-like well before they gave her a vanity label, and on this track, though she's the major draw, the Timbs are evidently doing most of the work. Just as well: you worry about Madge taking the conceit too seriously. George W. thought he was saving the world too.

Mariah Carey, "Touch My Body": She always could sing well, of course, but credit her for electing to so these days. Her delivery of "I will hunt you down" (if you post your mutual sex tape on YouTube) is spot-on: she flirts the line, since you know she'd never do such a thing. She has people to do that.

Lil Wayne ft. Static Major, "Lollipop": That he still sounds pretty good when he's selling out and playing to none of his strengths shows what a roll he's on. The pleasure of the song is ephemeral, but as Static Major's death reminds us, you should enjoy ephemeral pleasures while you can. And at least Weezy's willing to give as well as receive head -- and he'll let her play Hillary.

Ray J ft. Yung Berg, "Sexy Can I": Another overprivileged, testosterone-leaking former child star, except he's an asshole: the sort of guy Mariah's people should hunt down. His idea of pleasing a sexual partner is tipping her well. Maybe Ray'll turn into R. Kelly one day, but I hate to think about how many women he'll piss on before that happens.