The pathos of the circle of life, and shit like that

• For about ten minutes between Beckham limping off and Rooney getting justly sent off, albeit for the wrong offence, England looked like they'd destroy Portugal, with Lennon seeming a moment away from carving up their defence. As the match dragged on, however, you have England's best chance of winning would've been one of those patented fluke goals, I mean set piece moves that Becks is so good at setting up. Those of us who consider penalty shootouts a coinflip have to make an exception for England. The irony-laden ending saw The Manicured One consoling his bawling team (except Rooney, who was probably breaking shit in the dressing room), since he'd been through all this eight years ago. David Beckham: functioning adult! Anyway, after a month of playing like shit the team are the kind of heroes the English press love (i.e. the losing kind).
• Meanwhile, France, after a month of playing like 40 year-olds, played like 35 year-olds, which was more than enough. No tears or argy-bargy from Brazil after they got dumped.
• But at least I was right about Argentina. Hope you won some money too.
  
• So who do I support now? The Portuguese, the cheatingest side in memory? The scandalous Italians? The youthening but still fossilised French? I guess I'm in the unprecedented position of being a Germany fan.
  
• In other news, I just heard Olivia Newton-John's version of "Banks of the Ohio". That's just wrong.